Its been 6 years and few months that my son was diagnosed with autism. Looking back I see a completely changed child and mother in a completely transformed family setting.
Still remember reaching out to people close to me, asking them to help me, to explain, or to make sense what might be wrong with my son. Everywhere I looked, or reached I bumped into a brick wall. I was even accused of having a Munchausen syndrome . Those were the ignorant days, yet I wish I would have that horrible syndrome, because that would mean my son is Ok .
But again, he is OK, he is all grown up 7 1/2 years old, and he can tell me that he loves me, gives me kisses and hugs me. He can ask me to squeeze his hands or feet when he has those sensory issues. Instead of complete meltdowns and continues body slamming he is starting to recognize alternatives to his needs. If you wonder, yes we still have screaming, whimpering, crying, and all the other things that are not accepted socially, but honesty and straightforwardness stuck with us too.
We survived 2 sets of major abuse/neglect from his previous schools, and by God’s mercy now he is in a wonderful school with teachers who love him, and care about him.
We meet people who treated us as a statistics, yet we developed life long friendship with teachers, therapist, social workers and other ASD parents.
We had several major health setbacks, when Amin stopped breathing three times, than he got bit by a poisons snake , and all these occasions landed him into Pediatric ICU… and we meet wonderful health care professionals who truly cared about him, and they helped to set up future treatments for him.
After the ASD diagnosis our friends conveniently left, and never returned, but now we have true friends who truly care about him, myself and my daughter. These few, but great friends know what our needs are time to time, and they know how to lift our spirit in the time of needs. These friends celebrate every milestones in our lives, and they will always be part of my family.
I always had big dreams for my kids, and I never gave up on them. I had to changed them a bit to fit it into our new circumstance. We became the three musketeers…One for all and all for one.
My typical daughter developed an incredible amount of knowledge about autism, and her compassion toward special needs children are wonderful. She became an exceptional big sister. She started volunteering at Amin’s school at least once a month. She writes blogs about her brother, she teaches him at home, and protect him from everything and everyone. Amin just loves his big sister, and when he is in trouble, he always turns to her.
Amin helped me to realize that he is not the broken one, but all the people who deserted us because of his diagnosis are the one needing to be fixed.
The person who called him the retard needs to realize that my 7 1/2 years old son has a higher IQ than she will ever have.The person who told me to let him die when he has one of those episodes since he is autistic and “we should just stop pushing the envelope” Lovely isn’t it? The people who told me That “Amin is just a very difficult child” just because he had frequent ear infections and he was in pain. The list about these ignorant people can go on and on.
These 6 + years taught me valuable life lessons that I do not think I could ever obtained from anywhere. The best part, and most valuable lesson of my learning was getting closer to our creator. Once I had complete faith and acceptance, the pain that I felt subsided, and I gained an insight that helped me and my family to conquer all obstacles.
Amin himself taught me to appreciate the little wonders of life. His medical condition forced me to enjoy fully every moment of this life as it is the last-minute. And slowly the circle became complete, and now looking back to our 6 years I see a tremendous gain that was achieved by God’s mercy. We shed tears of sorrow, and tears of happiness every day, and we take up on new challenges to make this life wonderful for our family.
Our family is not broken as some might look at it, but it became strong, and true, and the end of the day that is all that matters to me. We found a new normal, and we are living with it in peace.