Posted by: myautisticmuslimchild | April 20, 2011

Reflecting on the past 6 years

Its been 6 years and few months that my son was diagnosed with autism. Looking back I see a completely changed child and mother in a completely transformed family setting.

Still remember reaching out to people close to me, asking them to help me, to explain,  or to make sense what might be wrong with my son. Everywhere I looked, or reached I bumped into a brick wall. I was even accused of having a Munchausen syndrome  . Those were the ignorant days, yet I wish I would have that horrible syndrome, because that would mean my son is Ok .

But again, he is OK, he is all grown up 7 1/2 years old, and he  can tell me that he loves me, gives me kisses and hugs me. He can ask me to squeeze his hands or feet when he has those sensory issues. Instead of complete meltdowns and continues body slamming he is starting to recognize alternatives to his needs. If you wonder, yes we still have screaming, whimpering, crying, and all the other things that are not accepted socially, but honesty and straightforwardness stuck with us too.

We survived 2 sets of major abuse/neglect from his previous schools, and by God’s mercy now he is in a wonderful school  with teachers who love him, and care about him.

We meet people who treated us as a statistics, yet we developed life long friendship with teachers, therapist, social workers and other ASD parents.

We had several major health setbacks, when Amin stopped breathing three times, than he got bit  by a poisons snake , and all these occasions landed him into Pediatric ICU… and we meet wonderful health care professionals who truly cared about him, and they helped  to set up future treatments for him.

After the ASD diagnosis our friends  conveniently left,  and never returned, but now we have true friends who truly care about him, myself and my daughter. These few, but great friends know what our needs  are time to time, and they know how to lift our spirit in the time of needs. These friends  celebrate every milestones in our lives, and they will always be part of my family.

I always had big dreams for my kids, and  I never gave  up on them. I had to changed them a bit to fit it into our new circumstance. We became the three musketeers…One for all and all for one.

My typical daughter developed an incredible amount of knowledge about autism, and her compassion toward special needs children are wonderful. She became an exceptional big sister. She started volunteering at Amin’s school at least once a month. She writes blogs about her brother, she teaches him at home, and protect him from everything and everyone. Amin just loves his big sister, and when he is in trouble,  he always turns to her.

Amin helped me to realize that he is not the broken one, but all the people who deserted us because of his diagnosis are the one needing to be fixed.

The person who called him the retard needs to realize that my 7 1/2 years old son has a higher IQ than she will ever have.The person who told me to let him die when he has one of those episodes since he is autistic and “we should just stop pushing the envelope” Lovely isn’t it? The people who told me That “Amin is just a very difficult child”  just because he had frequent ear infections and he was in pain. The list about these ignorant people can go on and on.

These 6 + years taught me valuable life lessons that I do not think I could ever obtained from anywhere. The best part, and most valuable lesson of my learning was getting closer to our creator. Once I had complete faith and acceptance, the pain that I felt subsided, and I gained an insight that helped me and my family to conquer all obstacles.

Amin himself taught me to  appreciate the little wonders of life. His medical condition forced me to enjoy fully every moment of this life as it is the last-minute. And slowly the circle became complete, and now looking back to our  6 years I see a tremendous gain that was achieved by God’s mercy. We shed tears of sorrow, and tears of happiness every day, and we take up on new challenges to make this life wonderful for our family.

Our family is not broken as some might look at it, but it became  strong, and true, and the end of the day that is all that matters to me. We found a new normal, and we are living with it in peace.

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Responses

  1. MashaAllah, so beautiful!!
    Thank you so much for sharing, I can relate to every single experience you had, and I thank our Creator everyday for blessing me with my wonderful son, at least our life is not boring, everyday brings new challenges and celebrations.
    We live in the moment, making every single minute count and taking it day by day with total reliance on Allah Subnahou wa taala.
    We are blessed and honored to have been given this privilege to share a few years with this wonderful teacher, yes he is our teacher, he is teaching us everyday to take it step by step , be more patient and accepting, he is teaching us tolerance, humility, gratitude. The skills I am learning through him are even helping me in my career. Alahmdou Lilah for everything that Allah wills for us.
    It is always nice to read your inspiring posts.

    Take very good care,
    Amina, Canada

    • thank yopu Amina, nice to see you and hear your comment again. may Allah makre things easy for all of us, and bring us together, May He guide us to the cure..ameen

      • Ameen Ameen Ameen

  2. Asalam 3alaykom sister,

    It has been 1 year since my son’s diagnosis and i have not told any of my friends or relatives about my son’s diagnosis. I keep making excuses not no see them or i see them when my son’s at pre-school. I’m scared to tell people because i still get myself to say it out loud let alone tell others. Any advice that can help me through this difficult time?

    Jazaki Allahu 3’ayran

    • Dear sister, WS,

      my heart goes out to you in this state, and I hope God will always keep you strong for yourself and your child’s sake.
      It is not an easy concept to grasp, but in reality, the sooner you face this diagnosis, the better off you will be. You will see rejection, but you will see overwhelming support as well.
      Hiding this from friends and family might cause them to feel left out, un-valued, or they will start judging you that you are not raising your child well bc of his behavior or delays.
      I think honesty about things always more beneficial in a long run. i encourage you to find someone very close to you family or friend whom you can confined this “secret”. You are hurting , and that is clear from your comment, and you need someone to support you any way they can.
      At the same time you need to know there will be people ( I hope in your case it will not be) who will be ignorant enough to not understand this situation.
      Either way you need to create your support system, you need to accept this diagnosis, so you can be fully available and helpful for your child. Please if there is any chance reveal this to the closest family members and ask them top help you and your child in this journey. We all need help and support, we are not super-humans, and any support you can get please take it. If you need to contact me feel free to email me at aminsawakening@gmail.com
      Take care looking forward to hear from you soon

  3. ASA sisters, I really enjoyed reading your comments and I am glad I found this blog. I am new to this. My son was just diagnosed. It is pretty difficult but insha Allah we will all be OK.
    I beleive there is a reason for everything and Allah swt is trying to tell us something through this challange. Hopefully, we’ll say Alhamdulilah and learn great deal from this.

    Personally, I am more confused than sad. I don’t know enough about ASD and I am determined to find out more to help my precous little boy.

    Take care and May Allah guide us all.

    -L


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